fine today totally sucks...
why ? cant i at least showed that i know something?
i mean, i noe physics test isnt the top of my BEST subject list,
its is neither urs...
and stop it.. stop ur looking down on mii thing.. the more euu push it, the more i try it, the more i get to the mill, and the more i work, the sooner i die... ah hah~! that is ur aim eh?
first euu tried making used of mii?
do euu ever noe how awful i felt?
i mean, fine if the oral thing euu don wan to share, but euu had plans wif friends, OUR friends,
does it ever goes to ur mind of juz asking mii if i planned to join? or if i cared to help? or to euu guys, i m juz non-existance?? i mean, is just a few words of " would euu care to help?" five words at most.. doesnt hurts to practise ur ABCs rite? and did euu guys, or rather EUU bother? nope.. then ask mii in the eleventh hour... i mean, why?? i juz don get it.. for my notes? i mean.. yah... strong emphasizing on notes.. goes critizing mii on my handwriting... i mean its true. i dun mind if euu make a joke out of it... but could euu be less of tactless... i mean , don go shooting ur mouth off at the wrong thing...?? its horrible euu noe. the way euu say it.. and i tot friends kid around, make stupid jokes about one another. but NEVER mean it... and the way euu speak, do euu mean it as a joke, a sacasism or plainly stating it wif a knife saying " welcome to the tactless club! "? i dun get it.. the truth is blunt. my handwriting sux.. i dun mind jokin i dun mind laughing HELL! i dun mind ADMITTING... but being tactless and so oblivious to the fact that i was glowing red in the face, feeling pissed.. cant euu be more ... haf a heart??? are euu made of human parts?
then i got Nicholas to teach mii physic FINALLY(thanx nich)... i mean i cant rely on copying.. really wanna prove my worth to Ms Wong even if it is a tiny mini Radioactivity test... and do euu noe hte feeling is great. i used to be sneered at.. my lowly marks, mii begging for answers. and today i start providing them.. i like tt satisfactory feeling.. it feels good not to FINALLY be looked down at... all throughout my pri n sec life, how many a times haf ppl began to tear my self-esteem,confiidence and my ego heart apart wif critisism?how many times haf i cried in the dark waiting for ppl to AT LEAST showed that they care, that tell mii SALLY HO isnt juz a shadow in the dark? i dun wan to lurk, i wanna surface out... don wanna hide.. and the lil acheivement in my maths... yea, feels good at least not to be look down.. not to be snickered at... but to think i tot friends like euu would start by saying " nice work SAL, hope euu work hard on ur phy..." (like wad ting did) but nope~! i got another painful stab in my egoistic heart, and a knife injury there... OUCH~! and to think euu r my friend. i least tot euu will be so more tactless and state that thing out... and euu tink its my fault of that attitude?? dun go shooting ur mouth off will ya?? please??!! i feels a lot better noeing that i haf at least some kind-hearted friend whu excel in chemistry and whu is so ever willing to teach mii... ... i mean, i was totally in awe about my passing mark... C5 euu noe.. and i credited it to euu. .. but all this time, euu could be sneering in the heart, scoffing about wad an idiot i m at the subject... treating mii like a fool... like wad euu did in phy... please~! i got the flu virus too....!! is not like as if i m in the best of mood and best of conditions.. and to tink i plunged myself out of that comfortable seat to check if MY answer was correct.. i was so ever happie that i got tt euu noe? but euu came and burst my bubble... do euu noe wad tactless mean... if euu wanna look down on mii, do it in the dark.. and pray tt i don noe... DON EVER realize... but nah! euu do it in the open... ok for once, i salute euu.. at least euu are better than backstabbers hiding in the dark.. but... ... EUU R MY FRIEND... emphazise strongly on FRIEND~~~~ agh... then this is the whole issue of mii trying to help.. .. but the painful blow of [ yep, ur physic sucks.. y dun euu get out of this world, get to the alternate reality that physics and sciences don exist? spent all ur days doing stupid things like watching dramas.. for all i care.. juz fail.~get lost...] kinda thing... .. and it hurts a lot..i haf dozens and tons of stuffs to deal wif euu noe.. i cant get the truth shoving to my face when i m trying to improve.. r euu de-moralizing mii?? i m trying to change~ will GOD or someone gives mii a chance???!! please??

i m getting despo here... ... i nid a chance.. all i nid was to show everyone how i cld work.. no one gives mii a damn... and no one even bothers if i was in working-conditions or slacking condition... how can i find someone whu truely cares?? wad if i die of stress or of this stupid flu virus?? will someone even mourn for mii? or will everyone lifes goes on... since i m never part of it... ... and darn... if i die of stress, i surrender totally but if i die of flu.. i m gg to hide my face even if i become a ghouly ghost... i have a lot of things to do after this flu goes away.. i wanna try chilli.. oOo n curry... and i wanna go kbox... and i wanna sing at Superstar next yr... and i wanna go taiwan find zax and cele our bday tgt.. and i wanna go find gino and show him his pic in my wallet.. and i wanna go find Sam and ask him to marry mii.. and i wanna go Australia.. n if i ever wanna die.. can i die of over-feeding of chocolates?and dark chocolate to be exact??please??!!