Today is a moment of anguish, pain and suspense.. fear struck mii hard, tinkin tt if i sld failed to maintain the standard, live up to the expectations of ppl, i will fall hard... and the self-esteem is playing tricks on mii, tellin mii softly about the pain i will haf to endure, if one mistake is made. a minor one, and it could cost the whole of my pride... the confidence i always haf seemed to lose its footing, slipped away miraculously at points of time when i nid it most... On the contrary, the devil of my mind crackled evilly at my pathetic self, telling mii that i will fail, and the moment when it said that, i tot of Mdm Sue's [ the A is in ur hand,its up to euu to grab it ].haf i had the A lying on my cletched palms?or is it floating away,gently,soundlessly? there is only suspense and guesses, many question-marks... ... Everyone is telling mii not to worry,never fear, for i haf always performed well. yet, the confidence is slackin away, the smiles is gone, and the idle mii seemed to be long gone. all i could do is to wait for the verdict, wait to noe if its heaven that awaits or the burning fire of hell... the butterflies in my stomach churned with everything i ate for recess, mixing together and causing mii more trauma. i looked at the skies, the azure-blue skies seemed to be filled with clouds, cloudy grey cloud... is it an omen of bad luck? or was heaven weeping at the loss of its member? i sighed as i walked up the stairs to the classroom... listening to the endless racious chattering can never be more tormenting than the fact that these people might be the ones tearing later... as Mr. Goh strutted in the class, smile-less. it seemed weird to see a solem looking Goh and his famous smile is completely wiped off from his face... it spelt doom for mii, and for many others i presumed... all i could depicts from this scene is that, it was not good news to be announced. truely enough, he told that mode was B3, all big disappointment for Mdm Teo gave us the assurance that the class would score 2/3 A... ... Then the results is announced. i gripped the side of the table tight, unable to tink. i felt like the world is going to stop, and that i was going to faint. as the numbers grew nearing to 13, i pled silently to God, hoping that He would bestow mii the A i wanted, even though not badly enough... As if answers to my prayers, i got wad i wanted, and all i could do is to stare into blank air emptily. i gave myself a light pinch on my arm, though light, it was enough to tell mii that it had not been a dream all along. God answered my prayers. the ordeal was worst than riding a roller-coaster, or going into a haunted house, something i avoid badly... ... This feeling is wad awaits unlawful citizens, the moment to judge verdict is announced, the moment of truth, the moment of knowing how is ur fate, and for mii, the moment of knowing how i fare. wad i haf been doing all these years, haf it been in vain, or will i reap wad i sow?? for mii, it was a near-death experience. i felt like i haf been to hell's gate, until the soft whisper pulled mii back... ... Thankfully, it was enough to be the pushing power, that is able to gif mii determination and let mii haf the grit to excel better.
*hope that my maths results next yr wouldnt let mii down. and pls, i wouldnt want this experience ever again~